Love Bite

Friday 19 April

It is the eve of MOVE DAY. The last night that the Scorpion and I will share a bedroom and a home. After six and a half years this is quite a change, one that is both welcomed and embraced by both of us. We are ready for the shift... and as much as we have loved the time we have spent together we both simply reached a point of noticing the danger of familiarity and domesticity. It's difficult to avoid when you live your lives at break neck speed and fall into the flatmate zone of relationship. Why do humans naturally take each other for granted? Often it takes some distance and a considerable amount of awareness not to fall into this pattern with each other.

It's funny how at this time of moving away from others in the pursuit of discovering more about myself, and in an attempt to put my Libran points of relationship reference to one side, if only to reveal what lies beneath that surface, that I am discovering how essential we are all to each other but in a completely different way. I will call it the Old Way and New Way - the old way is about referencing other people as a source of happiness (or sadness) and about leaning on others energetically, emotionally, psycho-spiritually and physically for really selfish reasons... to boost one's sense of being. When we talk about how people "make us feel" we forget that no one can make us feel anything - we create that feeling ourselves. And when we reach out in perception for THAT feeling from someone it's like taking a piece of clothing off another, putting it on yourself and calling it yours. It's completely self-referential and centred around "how I feel". The New Way is about wearing your own thoughts and emotions, identifying them as yours and if engaging with others, appreciating (or not) what they wear and at most, considering how the two of you complement each other or not. What a Libran analogy! Straight from the wardrobe. The New Way is about learning to be supportive of others rather than leaning on them, it's about actively listening rather than waiting to have your turn to speak or impatiently interrupting, it's about caring about everyone as though they are your own child - with compassion, kindness, love, understanding and forgiveness. To live with an open heart.

Cut to a few daze later... Wednesday 23 April

I am now moved. And bed-ridden. For the first time in I can't remember how long! Telling really. The urge to purge... or at least to sit still - ratstyle: i.e. collapse. Drats! Time to blog and hang out in bed with my new feline friend Sasha, so its not all bad but I could really do without the yerky feeling inside my head and stomach. More about the love bite later and mental note on Hoopaholic update + report on last week's show at the Carnival. To be continued...