Blog the Yoga

So yesterday in the throws of hyper-visual cyber saturation I sat transfixed to my computer trawling through Hoopy Award nominations, videos, pics, blogs, astro readings, FaceBook social news and general cyberland happenings. I have reached a rare point in the year where I am pretty much on top of my emails, still avoiding my bookwork, holding a small amount of space to chat online and generally pretty relaxed in week 4 of the annual 6 week sojourn. Life is cruising. Strangely as Yoga O'Clock approached I was hit with an overwhelming urge to blog which essentially requires a clear state of mind, a whole amount of solitary space and good dose of inspiration that had hit my hood. A competing zen bender. I sat in front of my computer tossing up my options noting that after a recent elongated writer's block it may not be the best thing to do to walk away when the flow was calling. On the other hand, I had been on the Yoga train for 5 days running and after a 3 day break it really was TIME to get back on or the momentum would be slowed. A split between the body and the mind - hello the answer should have been obvious. As a Libran I often throw most dilemmas out to the peeps and thank God for the love and support of decisive friends - the collective said DO BOTH and let one filter into the other - i.e "blog the yoga" ... thanks Ms Linguini :) So here I am post yoga mid blog fusing body and mind into one. The integrated whole.

Yoga entered my life when I moved to Sydney 14 years ago. Like writing it had for a long time been sporadic but always invigorating and ultimately soul food that I kept coming back to for more. My dedication and commitment to regular practice reached a turning point when I connected with a wonderful teacher about four years ago. It's an interesting dynamic that between teacher and student and one that deserves some contemplation. What was it about that teacher? It was about an essence. He would say, don't come to class because you think you should, come because you want to. Or, there's no point in giving up your vices in life if you're going to be schizophrenic about it - if you want whatever it is that you reach out for, go for it, until you no longer truly and authentically want it. This dude is a dude, for real. He beamed love and light, he oozed a chill that everyone wanted, he demonstrated an astonishing level of strength, flexibility and balance that one could only dream of and he was simply absolute beauty personified. We all fell in love and then he left the country. Like most things in life you don't gain a full appreciation of what you have right in front of you until it's gone. Aside from his stunning person and that wonderful exotic accent that somehow got me through the stretched out counts of leg-crushing warriors and reality defying twists and balances, he set me and my fellow students up with a solid foundation that catapulted us all I'm sure into a zone of what feels like a regular lifetime practice. He also challenged my attachment to The Teacher and what it is to find self-directed practice.

So I moped around town in search of another pining for the loss and wondering how one can replace such an experience. The reality is I couldn't as it was unique. This has happened before actually. With hooping. Once I had made the decision to dedicate myself to the practice 6 years ago my teacher had already left town. I mentioned this to my beloved yogi once over tea to which he smiled and suggested that perhaps it is simply part of my karma. Oh the simplicity. So as a teacher I am intrigued by what it is that we represent to our students and how we connect or not. He would say, students don't just come for the teaching they come to connect with your energy and your emotional self. He drew my attention to a responsibility that I now hold with a sense of sacredness and grace - as teachers we attract students who want to know more than just the skill set, whether we (and they) choose to acknowledge it or not. Together we create an experience that seems to exceed reason and words - it's a feeling that often effects us at a very profound level. After he left, as a teacher, I accepted the challenge of becoming my own teacher and took on a solitary practice down at StarLand last Summer. But when I returned to the city the physical space to practice in my own home was reduced and all the urban distractions thundered in, leaving me with a very strong desire to get back to class. Lucky my new yoga studio is less than 100 metres away from my home!

In honour of the class, I have to acknowledge its attributes - it's about synergy, a collective raising of energy, inspiration from others, the guidance of a teacher outside of the self, a structured format to follow that locks me into a disciplined time and a beautiful big sacred space that has been shape-shifted specifically for worship. I also experience the luxury of having someone else tell me what to do and when to do it knowing that the end result is a happy and healthy body/mind/spirit. When I'm in a class I don't have the cat running around my feet protesting that I'm pretending to be a dog! I don't have the distraction of phones and computers and fridges and all else that tempts one in the work from home zone. In class I am anonymous, I am silent, I am directed, I am safe, I am one of many, I am reminded that I am a small part of the whole, i am that I am. In class I sing and chant and stand on my head and hands and stretch out and go beyond my limitations just a little bit each time to progress with someone on guard watching, guiding and adjusting my development. I can almost do the splits! It's taken years... maybe this Christmas coming. I can feel this is the year. In class I am allowed to just be. I don't have to think. I don't want to think. I dream in colours and see shooting stars and at times am flooded with light as I feel prana coursing through my entire being. In class I feel alive and so relaxed and strong and balanced. In class I can practice breathing like the ocean and then barely breathe at all. In class I understand the power of the breath.

Beyond the spiritual and sacred nature of yoga, which I admit is its strongest drawcard for me, I am given the opportunity to shape and strengthen my body in a way that no other exercise has ever offered. Often I am amazed at how I need not practice something like the splits in each class but by practicing all the other poses that loosen up my hips I can return to Hanamanasana over time and it magically seems to have come along. It's an integrated form of exercise. Then there's the abs - everyone wants killer abs right so the belief is just bust out those thousand or so situps and get the Pilates classes going on for full effect and it's true such focus is sure to be met with success but with the moderation and holistic foundation that Yoga provides, abs are constantly working in all kinds of poses that at the same time strengthens and tones your back, legs, arms, butt and so on. The integrated whole. On a very personal level, in part I use yoga as an experiment on myself to defy genetics. Both of my parents and some of my siblings experience the pain of arthritis. History and science says I should expect to experience this pain myself. Interestingly I feel like I have defeated an ongoing shoulder / neck issue that plagued me for many years during which time I worked in front of a computer for most of the day and practiced yoga irregularly. As a full time HoopStar I cannot do this job without the support of regular yoga practice. When my practice falls off I can feel it in my back, my neck, my shoulders, my wrists sometimes just everywhere. Hello Dr NeedleHands! Acupuncture, massage, chiropractic treamtment - all wonderful things and essential top ups but with regular yoga I need them less and less. So the challenge is on. I refuse to become arthritic without taking on the challenge and giving it my all. My intuition says yoga is the key to longevity. It's my mantra actually. So an eternal child of the universe it just becomes more and more fun and never a chore to rock it out in class OHMmm!

So I am brought to the notion of self-directed practice which is something I wish to elaborate more on in a range of creative areas of life. I used to think that if I couldn't be my own task master that I was a pussy ^_^ and that until I had my own home practice sorted I was somehow dependent on the other, The Teacher, the guru to kick a butt that I am personally responsible for. It was interesting to watch my approach to my current yoga school which has a whole bunch of teachers. Initially I made sure I shared the love around to avoid said attachment to beloved yogis. But then there is *the energy* that connects us to an individual Teacher that takes us beyond the beyond. It seems hardly a coincidence that at this point in my life where I am living in an open relationship that I have discovered we receive (and give) many things to many people and that you can't *get* everything from one person. It's holographic. It's emotional maturity. It's wild! So Dharmashala you have hit the spot. I give sincere thanks and deep gratitude for this incredible journey, experience, feeling and love that the practice of yoga has to offer. It has changed my life, supports my work, my hooping, my heart, my head, my body, my relationships. It takes life to another level - that of the Divine.

I dedicate this blog to my beloved Yogi who I adore and miss but feel eternally hovering counting those asanas with a cheeky grin making it go oh so slow to elongate the joy and to all my other teachers past present and future who inspire and guide me throughout my practice, including me.

Namaste